The wedding and birthday equation

Posted by homoludo on September 19th, 2008 filed in gigs, gramomania, parties, writing

party graph

I’m Playing a 30’th birthday tomorrow night for a friend – Mikey

It got me thinking – I sometimes play “weddings” or “birthdays” for friends but don’t do so commercially. Doing so can result in the classic request situations – ‘got any Bob Marley?’ or ‘ got anything good?’,  the former from “lads” and the latter from drunk girls looking for the latest girl pop etc.

You have to be armed with both doing any wedding or like situation but doing it for a living would probably result in musicophobia (having said that the downside of being an “underground Dj” is there are not enough opportunities to play ‘Piece of me’ and the like.

It also got me thinking that I should share the equation for doing these types of gigs in case you are called to the honour of soundtracking somebody’s great moment. Here it is.


y – a +11 = v1

y – a +19 = v2

Where y = the year

             a = the age of the somebodies

 Take V1 and V2 adding p to V1 and e to V2

Where p = poppieness

             e= edginess

Then graph  V1*p  to V2*e

The resulting graph will give you a sure fire guide to picking the music your somebodies will be sure to enjoy.

I’ll put up the graph later, as on the advice of my lawyer I’m patenting the system.

Like these guys who have cleverly patented the circle of fifths.

See also this guy’s mixing system

Anyway Mikey’s B’day Bash is on tomorrow night in the Westmoreland or whatever it’s called these days) on Westmoreland St.

Feel free to drop in.

Bring graph paper.

I’ll sue.

I’ll play a boy named Sue.




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